


No coming back

by Ni3ma



Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-01
Updated: 2020-02-01
Packaged: 2021-02-28 04:42:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 749
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22507987
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ni3ma/pseuds/Ni3ma
Summary: Tony was dead and it was his fault.
Relationships: Steve Rogers & Tony Stark, Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Comments: 1
Kudos: 16





	No coming back

**Author's Note:**

> I know Civil war was like four years ago, but I'm still trying to deal with my feelings.  
> Normally I like to write and read more fluffy fics but sometimes I really can't stand Steve for what he did, so this happened and I regret nothing
> 
> Have fun :)

Their fight in Siberia was brutal, no question about it. Nevertheless, it was something that could still be fixed. Not fast, mind you, but slowly and with patience.

That was if Steve hadn’t slammed his shield into the Arc Reactor. The moment he saw the unmasked fear in Tony's eyes, that there was no coming back from his actions. It was over.

Whatever it was what they were beginning to build, it was over.

He left, after that.  
He left with Bucky, abandoning his new family in favor of the old one.  
He left without knowing if Tony was okay.

He couldn’t bring himself to care.

He had to get Bucky to safety and that was the most important thing right now. Everything else could wait.

Looking back on this day, he regretted _every single one_ of his decisions.

But just as every other human being on this planet he couldn’t change the past, except maybe for Strange.

The only two options he had were accepting what he had done and to try and forgive himself or to live with the grieve for the rest of his life.

For most people there was a third option: get the forgiveness of the person they wronged. But that was only possible if the person who was wronged was still alive in the first place.

Which wasn’t the case.

And for him, that wasn’t just a minor inconvenience, an obstacle on the way to accepting what happened.

For him, it was the sole reason for his grieve.

Because it was _his_ fault that Tony was dead.

Because _he_ didn’t check if Tony made it back home.

Because _he_ didn’t make sure that Tony had a way to leave the bunker by himself.

Because _he_ didn’t consider the possibility that he damaged more than the power supply of the armor.

Because _he_ didn’t assure himself that Tony was still breathing by the time he left.

It was _his fault_ and _his fault alone_ that Tony as dead.

Only days after the fight did he call the Colonel and asked if Tony was back in New York.  
Just to hear that yes, he was but wouldn’t go anywhere else because he was dead and it was all his fault.

The Colonel proceeded to scream at him for another hour but he couldn’t hear any of it.  
The only thing he could hear were the words _Tony, dead_ and _his fault_.

He ended the call shortly after and shut the phone off. He wouldn’t need it anymore.

It was a fairly easy decision after that. He went to T’Challa to tell him about his plan.

He didn’t expect T’Challa to be resistant, not after everything that went down in Siberia, but was thankful for all the help nonetheless and he told the king that much.

The only thing he got as a response was a not and he didn’t wait for more. Now that he made up his mind he didn’t want to wait any longer.

Without saying goodbye to the others he left. The only other person he told of his plan was Bucky, who was still in Cryo, so the other super soldier couldn’t stop him.

Not that he thought he would. Neither he or Bucky were the same persons they were before the ice.  
If his mother and Erskine could see him, they would be disappointed in him. He forgot everything they ever told him about being a good person. He wasn’t even the perfect soldier.

He was just the sum of his mistakes and now he would face the consequences and make up for what he could.

Whatever it takes.  
It was what Tony did after Afghanistan and that’s what he would do now.

When he landed at the Compound Rhodes, Secretary Ross and 50 heavily armed men were already waiting for him.

He left the borrowed aircraft with his hands above his head and sank to his knees as soon as he stood in front of the waiting men.

All the weapons were aimed at his head, but he didn’t care. If they shot him now or later in front of the nation if they would throw him into the Raft for the rest of his long life and tortured him till they broke him he didn’t care.

He lost everything that day in Siberia and he deserved everything they had coming for him.

The last thing he saw was Ross smug face before the world went black around him.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading
> 
> If you have constructive criticism, don't hesitate to let me know  
> Comments and kudos appreciated


End file.
